Million Dollar Consulting® Mindset
From Alan Weiss
Volume 4 Number 2
Welcome to the fourth year of Million Dollar Consulting Mindset. Our mission is to spark new thinking and ideas for creating a thriving business and rewarding life. As always, I'm happy to answer questions if you send them to me and specify they're for MDCM.
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Affection and Respect
People have varying degrees of affiliation needs. That is, some people aren't fulfilled unless they are working with others, and some people are quite content working alone. As solo consultants, we have to satisfy our affiliation needs in other ways, since we don't have staff. But those other sources shouldn't be clients.
If you consider affection (affiliation) and respect, they are two different variables. I want my clients to respect me, but they don't have to like me. (That doesn't mean they hate me, it simply means we're not buddies.) Many people ask me how someone can be respected but not liked, and vice versa, so here are some personal examples.
Like and respect: James Carville, the political analyst. I love his style and greatly admire his opinions, even when I may disagree.
Like but don't respect: Jon Stuart. I think the guy is often hysterical and has a fascinating mind. But he operates in a grey area of humor and news—a pseudo newsman who often tries to be serious—and picks on easy targets.
Respect but don't like: Bill Clinton. I think he was a good President, successfully dealt with both parties to create consensus, and is a good father. But I don't like his narcissism, dalliances, and attempts to cover up inappropriate behavior.
Don’t like and don't respect: Donald Trump. I feel that he's used inherited money and other people's money—oven declaring bankruptcy or bailing out of projects—to create a personal fortune. And whatever he does, it's strictly about his own ego, including his relationships with women.
My point is that your prospective buyers and current buyers (don't worry about non-buyers) should respect you. If they also like you fine, and the same for your attitudes about them. But don't be lulled into fulfilling affiliation needs and being liked by your buyers. If there's not respect, that's merely adoration.
If you want to be loved, get a dog.
LINK for more: http://www.contrarianconsulting.com/respect-and-affection/
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